Acceptance of myself through others

It's another week, and I'll start again today. Start changing my lifestyle, how I eat. Listen to my body and give it the fuel that it needs, not eat out of nervous energy to stuff my emotions. My mom said that to me yesterday, that as she observed me eating, it looked like nervous energy. It was good to hear that actually, because it put a visual to the feelings and emotions I go through. As I weighed in, I am up again. Two more pounds and I am not surprised. I'm also not freaking out about it. In actuality, I think I'm finally able to let this weight go. To release it the right way. It's been giving me the perspective of my life that I need. I've mentioned before how I feel that whenever I've been really thin that my priorities weren't in order. I think that they are in order for the first time in a very long time, years in fact.

It's really about the way you eat and how you live life. I said something to my daughter yesterday that my mom said that she really likes the way I said it to her. She, my daughter, had said she was finished with dinner and I said, are you satisfied? My 6 year old then says, what does that mean? And I answer, "not hungry." Did you get that?? Not hungry. That's what we need to eat to, not full. But satisfied, which means not hungry. And this was something that I really want her to learn. My mom said that she really liked the way that conversation went, because I am showing her, at a very young age, how to eat and how to feel about food. And that is, not feelings at all. It's fuel that we eat for energy. I need to remember this.

Of course, my daughter has been instrumental in my learning how to accept and love myself and not be so self critical. I love her unconditionally and the emotions are so strong for her. This is how I need to think of myself. I've realized that. I teach her and she makes mistakes but I don't think horrible things about her because of this. I don't, instead, I want to use those opportunities to teach her to grow and improve herself. Well, then, why can't I...no change that, why don't I treat myself that way. I'm not sure of the why, but what I do know is that I am and have been treating myself that way.

Wow, this was a long post, but one that I needed to get out. I look forward to each and every day as they are really gifts. Enjoy each moment.

In other random news, I'm going to start reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins as part of a Dystopia YA challenge on Books on the Nightstand podcast and blog that I follow. (See my blogroll, they are there).