BOTNS Books Podcast #47: DystopYA | Books on the Nightstand Blog and Books Podcast

I have not only read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins for this challenge, but I couldn't help but to immediately read Catching Fire as well. I was so enthralled by The Hunger Games, that I skipped all my other books that were in queue before Catching Fire to read it immediately. And read it I did, in about three days.

The Hunger Games, begins with Katniss in the woods with Gale. The year isn't really known but it's a good ways into the future. The United States, obviously is no more and now is known as Panem. The 50 states have been broken into 12 Districts and are under strict control from "The Capitol" which is somewhere near Denver. I can understand the sisterly love and sacrifice that Katniss makes for her sister. This book is a YA novel and I don't really read that genre, but the writing was good and kept me in suspense almost the entire time. I found myself wanting Katniss to really be in love with Peeta and I suppose that in a way, she does find herself in love with him. I have to keep reminding myself that these are teenagers that I am reading about. I did like the Romeo and Juliet ending, albeit not as deadly as Shakespeare's original.

Moving towards Catching with Fire and trying not to give it away for anyone who is reading this and hasn't read the books yet, I can honestly say that I didn't see where the plot was going. Each plot twist was surprising to me. I soon became as confused as Katniss and didn't know who to trust and who not to trust. I definitely didn't see the ending of the second book coming either. As a matter of face, I had to go back and re-read the last few pages to be sure that I was comprehending what the author was trying to tell me. Really?? How did I not see this ending coming? And better yet, when the hell is the third book coming out.

I have to say, I thank Ann (and Michael) for pointing me towards this series. It's the second series (Girl w/the Dragon Tattoo being the first) that I am scouring the internet trying to see when the publishing dates are and marking them on my google calendar. A first for me.

And was I the only one who puts myself into the story and imagines how I would survive living in a country like that?? I could totally go off on a political tangent now, but I'll save it for another post. I'm such a tease, I know.



EDIT OF ORIGINAL POST

So, I realized that I left out the things that I didn't like. Or why I liked it other than I just found it to be a page turner.  I feel that anytime a book elicits a strong emotion, be it anger, frustration or impatience or positive emotions such as happiness or excitement that it must be well written. Well, these two books hit all of those and then some.  Currently, the biggest emotion is anticipation. Anticipation of the third novel to quell the curiosity that the crazy cliffhanger that Collins left for us.  But I'm putting the cart ahead of the horse. Because I also felt frustration for Katniss and her inability to see that Peeta really is the one she should choose. I never really connected with Gale because he seemed to be a supporting character in both books. I know he figured prominently in Katniss' mind, but for us, the reader, there were too few instances where he appeared for me to be able to connect with him. I was rooting for Peeta all the way, and actually got angry with him when he failed to fight for Katniss and was willing to let her go so easily.

I guess the one thing that I didn't like about the novel was that they had to go back to the Arena and fight again. Big plot moment in that, yes, I know, but I still thought there would have been or could have been a different way to do this. To get the rebellion going.  I did have to say that I did enjoy it once I got past my anger at them having to get tossed back into the games.

I never realized that this was supposed to be a trilogy so imagine my shock and surprise at the ending.  It's been hours since I finished it and I am still stunned.

BOTNS Books Podcast #47: DystopYA | Books on the Nightstand Blog and Books Podcast

BOTNS Books Podcast #47: DystopYA | Books on the Nightstand Blog and Books Podcast

My book, as previously mentioned, is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I've just finished reading it and will post a review this week. It was one of those books I couldn't put down and stayed up late to read.

Just Write (sung to lady gaga's just dance)

That's what all the books about writing say. Read, then write. Then rinse and repeat apparently. So, that's what I'm doing. Actually, I'm going to enter a contest. The Washington Post is having a "pundit" contest in which you submit a short (no word count, ugh, torture) essay about a topic currently in the news. Then you write a brief bio paragraph. LMAO!! Since when am I brief. The winner gets a semi-regular column or space in the Post. I'm not sure if it's the paper or online version that they refer too, but either way, for me, the aspiring wanna-be writer, I figure it's worth a paragraph or two.

Except that I'm never sure if I can keep it at that length. Then of course, there's the matter of choosing the subject. Well, shit, I work in healthcare and that topic couldn't be more prevalent, right? Sure, you say, write about what you know. Except what if writing about what you know, could get you in trouble with the powers that be. Of course, it would really be more of an op-ed piece. Hah, or even an insider story. Ooh, which reminds me, I am considered an insider by the SEC, so I don't suppose that I could write what I know even if I wanted to, right? Or write. Or Just Write (again with the Lady Gaga Ear Worm). Speaking of Lady Gaga, did you guys see her the other night with Madonna. Yea, that skit wasn't the funniest, but I'll admit I did chuckle a couple of times.

I'm just about half way through with Await Your Reply. And it's due back at the library tomorrow. I don't think I can read half a book in one night. So I'll have to recheck it out again, and hope that I remember where I left off. Sadly, the finances do not foresee a trip to B&N or Borders this week. Or anytime soon. It's about to be the Holiday Season, and I've got to start planning and saving now. Otherwise, come December, the kids (really just Shy) will be in for a rude awakening. They'll think that Santa dissed them. Well, he should. That reminds me, did I ever tell you guys about the time that I really put coal under the tree for my eldest.

Wait, don't yell at me yet, hear me out. He was being such an ass. Spoiled rotton kid. Really, he was. Hell, he still is, only difference is he is a man now. Anyway, I warned him about a million and one times that Santa doesn't bring presents to little boys who disrespect their Mommy (he was like 8 at the time, Jon was 2 and Summer must have been 14 or so. Anyway, he started hyperventilating Christmas morning when he saw that there were no presents but rather a bag of charcoal. Sadists that we are, we started laughing, until I felt a slight twinge of guilt. Hey! He totally deserved it, and if I could, I'd give him coal again this year, but he's 18 and knows it's me now. Anyway, his presents were in the closet, the little shit, and we gave it to him. After he acknowledged that he was really sorry for being disrespectful. I don't think it lasted until the 26th.

Enough procrastinating, I'm off to clean up the dinner dishes and read a bit. I must be getting old because I've been falling asleep at 10pm-ish these days. 10p is the 11p.

Acceptance of myself through others

It's another week, and I'll start again today. Start changing my lifestyle, how I eat. Listen to my body and give it the fuel that it needs, not eat out of nervous energy to stuff my emotions. My mom said that to me yesterday, that as she observed me eating, it looked like nervous energy. It was good to hear that actually, because it put a visual to the feelings and emotions I go through. As I weighed in, I am up again. Two more pounds and I am not surprised. I'm also not freaking out about it. In actuality, I think I'm finally able to let this weight go. To release it the right way. It's been giving me the perspective of my life that I need. I've mentioned before how I feel that whenever I've been really thin that my priorities weren't in order. I think that they are in order for the first time in a very long time, years in fact.

It's really about the way you eat and how you live life. I said something to my daughter yesterday that my mom said that she really likes the way I said it to her. She, my daughter, had said she was finished with dinner and I said, are you satisfied? My 6 year old then says, what does that mean? And I answer, "not hungry." Did you get that?? Not hungry. That's what we need to eat to, not full. But satisfied, which means not hungry. And this was something that I really want her to learn. My mom said that she really liked the way that conversation went, because I am showing her, at a very young age, how to eat and how to feel about food. And that is, not feelings at all. It's fuel that we eat for energy. I need to remember this.

Of course, my daughter has been instrumental in my learning how to accept and love myself and not be so self critical. I love her unconditionally and the emotions are so strong for her. This is how I need to think of myself. I've realized that. I teach her and she makes mistakes but I don't think horrible things about her because of this. I don't, instead, I want to use those opportunities to teach her to grow and improve herself. Well, then, why can't I...no change that, why don't I treat myself that way. I'm not sure of the why, but what I do know is that I am and have been treating myself that way.

Wow, this was a long post, but one that I needed to get out. I look forward to each and every day as they are really gifts. Enjoy each moment.

In other random news, I'm going to start reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins as part of a Dystopia YA challenge on Books on the Nightstand podcast and blog that I follow. (See my blogroll, they are there).

Sleepy Saturday

I have to be up at the crack of dawn to take Shy to a gymnastics competition. I'm yawning, but continue reading Await Your Reply.

Had a fun day with the kids and my Mom, who is down visiting strictly to see Shy compete tomorrow. I'll be sure to update when I get home what her scores were. We hit the book stores today and I picked up Vincent Bugliosi's tome on the Kennedy Assassination. John's that is. This book is huge, but according to the flap summary and the TOC, it covers every aspect of the case and what is and isn't true. This is a book to keep. I'll read bits of it at a time, I'm sure, since it's so large.

Then Shy and I went to the library since our libraries are now closed on Sundays and we won't have an opportunity to go as was our routine. I guess Sat library visits are now going to be the norm. I got some vegetarian cookbooks and a chick lit book on Sex and the City that came in.

I've also heard murmuring that The Girl Who Kicked Hornets will be out in 2010. I hope so as I feel like The Girl Who Played With Fire left me hanging. I mean, who survives a bullet to the brain?? Well, I guess if it a bibi gun (which is what I'm going with) then I suppose it was possible.

In other completely random and unrelated news, I'm so excited that Brett Musberger is giving Randy Shannon props on ABC and the game, Hurricanes vs. Oklahoma. It looks like OK is going to score. Ugh, I've got to get to bed since I've got to be up so early.

I just finished reading this book. It continues the story of Lisbeth Salander and Mikeal Blomkvist that I read in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Both were excellent. However, there were time that I found myself shaking my head in disbelief. Salander felt as if she were all alone against the world, which is actually something Blomkvist says towards the end of the book. I thought this pages before he actually says it and I have to say I found her cynicism a bit much.

I also found the ending not satisfying at all. But perhaps, that is the point. Knowing thought that there is only one more book to come, I sincerely hope that the story gets wrapped up. Although, I can and will as I'm sure others will make up my own ending, ala the Sopranos.

In other unrelated new, I realize that the title of my blog doesn't relate anymore to what I write about. It should, and I feel guilty about it from time to time. Although, I went to buy clothes on yesterday and having had an unsuccessful outing (read nothing fit) I decided that I can't go on treating myself this way. I'm a good person, and I have a good soul. Who doesn't deserve to live the way I've been living. I guess I've finally accepted myself for who I am. I'm not a victim, I'm just me. And I don't want to eat like crap anymore. That's the way I've been eating and not at all what I meant when I titled this blog. So, I'm done with that. Truly.

I rode the bike for 30 min today.

Chore Day Saturday

I'm actually almost done with the chores. I just have left the laundry. We will be returning some things to the library and then church later. Probably have a coffee and B&N afterwards. Yea, I know I don't need anymore books, but I like to go and have coffee and be around the books. THis is better than having and getting more books.

And then tomorrow is the big day!!! Shy has her first gymnastics competition. I can't wait. She's been practicing hard and is definitely ready. Pictures and videos to follow.

And I decided on reading The Graveyard Book. I'm about halfway through and I'm sure to finish it by tonight. It's really cute so far. Odd to say a book about ghosts and graveyards is cute, but well, there it is.

For some reason my bank's website keeps freezing up when I try to log on. Maybe they are trying to tell me something :)

oh yea, and Hurricane football at 3:30pm. Definitely will need to keep an eye on that. Have a great Sat everyone!

Pick the next book I read

I have so many to choose from. So I'm asking you to pick one for me. I'm wrapping up The Girl Who Played With Fire. I'm enjoying it, but it has me annoyed right now. I did that with the 1st book in this series as well. Am I supposed to believe that this chick has been abused sexually and mentally by every man in her life except Blomkvist?? Really?? I can't imagine that the majority of Swedish men are such complete pricks. Maybe it's just the one's that Lisbeth comes across that are douche's. Anyway, I'll reserve final judgement to when I finally finish it. Which should be sometime this weekend. Definitely by Saturday.

My next book is between the following:

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon

I usually read more than one at a time, but these are library books that are due soon. I just can't decide which one to read first.

Thanks for your help.

Saturday, sleepy Saturday

I fell asleep watching tv last night. Before 11p. Which is odd for me, but I guess I just needed the extra sleep. Unfortunately, my neck wasn't in the best position and now it is a little sore. I'm working it out though.

Today, we have chore morning and then a birthday party from 2p-4p. It's for Shy, but J has a birthday party to go to as well, so I'll drop him off and pick him up later. I'll go to the grocery store after the party and figure out my weekly meals.

I know it sounds boring, but I love being home and doing domestic things. By the end of the day, my house will have the fresh clean smell, the laundry will be done and food will have been prepared. It's slightly rainy so that will be a good time to watch a dvd or read. I think I'll watch Rocky Balboa for my Saturday movie night.

I went to the library yesterday and a lot of my books came in at once. I hate when that happens. But at least, hopefully, I can renew them. I've got The Book Thief, The Graveyard, a couple of books on writing, a book of poems by Elizabeth and Robert Browning, a book of poems by Langston Hughes, and John Adams by David McCullough. I know I'll want to own this book, but I wanted to start reading it. I also really, really, really want the HBO miniseries on DVD. Can someone please mention this to my mother?

Third person Thursday

I declared it Third Person Thursday, for fun. It's been a long week. My parents were here, and while I enjoy their company it throws off our routine. Since school just started, our routine was just getting set. And then it isn't. But they are leaving in the morning. They don't like to stay that long because it does get somewhat hectic and chaotic at my grandparents house. Hell, I don't want to be there half the time when I pick up the kids each day and that's only for 15 min. God bless them all, though, they really only mean well.

TGIF!! almost. Work was really quiet. The boss man was out of the office and the boss lady had a lot of meetings today. I barely spoke to anyone. I was able to read my book, well, one of the books I'm reading, "Reading Like a Writer" by Francine Prose. I've enjoyed reading and the excerpts from different books have added about 100 books to my TBR list. Seriously. She also breaks down the different aspects of writing, mostly fiction. From character development, to narration to gesture and dialogue. If you like to read and fancy writing a story or two, this book is for you. She gets you to understand how the various authors used vocabulary, paragraph placement for example, to move the story along. This is definitely one that I'll be re-reading again. I checked it out of the library but this one is definitely a book that I will be adding to my reference pile.

The other book I'm reading I have every intention of finishing this weekend. It's fabulous!!

Now we get to what the point of this blog is supposed to be about. The way I eat now. It isn't pretty. At all. BUT, the good news is that I'm like frickin Annie. Tomorrow, Tomorrow!!! I'll diet, tomorrow!! LOL! Ok, not really a diet, but eat the right way. Eat the way I should. Or I just won't eat at all. But I'll document it no matter what. That's my deal with you. Even if you don't want to know it all.

Oh yea. And the podcast that I said I was going to stop listening to because I wasn't getting anything out of it. Yea, I am still. I've come to realize that I don't want food to be my joy. It's only in mouth for like, what 10 min at the most? I want food to be my fuel, not my friend. This is huge. I've been using food as my joy and I need to substitute that with some real joy. Whether it's cultivating friendships, my children or just my own mind, it's got nothing to do with food. I'll be listening to the podcast again tomorrow morning, as I ride the bike.

I'm off to read my book and go to bed. As my favorite literary heroine would say, "Tomorrow is another day."

Books, books and what are you reading?

This is how I spent my day yesterday. Well, part yesterday and part on Friday. I went to a big library sale and I found a lot of books that I wanted. I think I need to put a moratorium on book buying until I at least read 5 books or so. The problem is that they are so cheap. $1 for the hardcovers and $.50 for the paperbacks.

I'm loving my book collection. Obviously, as you can see by the soccer ball, I have no shelves to put them on. I need to go to Ikea I think to get some shelves so I can get them off of the floor.

I'm currently reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson. I've heard so many good things about this book and it's gotten great reviews. I'll be sure to do a review if you are so interested.

The importance of checking the NI

BEFORE YOU EAT YOUR MEAL!!!!!

I made what I thought was about a 450 calorie choice for lunch and it turned out to be a 663 calorie choice. Which means it's going to be a salad dinner for me. Ugh, actually no, it won't, I'll eat a regular dinner, but honestly, who knew a simple sandwich could be that many calories. Crystal...are you paying attention!!!!! That was WAY too many calories for a sandwich. Not that either one of us had an inkling of the high caloric value, but the gooey melty cheese that runneth over the sides should have been my first clue.

I'm not letting a little mistake, yes, that was a mistake, trip me up. I'm going to continue in my positive mindset and trudge on this path with a pep in my step because this is something that is forever. I will take this experience and learn from it. Uh, look up the NI moron. Yep, that's my lesson learned from today.

I also bought 'Tis by Frank McCourt, who recently passed away. You may be more familiar with his original memoir, Angela's Ashes, which was on the NY Times bestseller list for more than a year. I want to say it was closer to two years. In any event, I just listened to a replay of an interview he did on NPR back in '97 when the book was initially published. Hearing him speak in that Irish brogue of his made me want to read the other two books he wrote, 'Tis and Teacher man. I read Angela's Ashes back in '98 and was mesmerized by the poverty and the description of his childhood. This man overcame so much. I saw 'Tis at Borders for $4.99 so I bought that along with the MLA guide to Writing Research Papers. I figured that Jonathon could begin using this as he is sure to have to write some papers eventually this year. It will be good practice for him so that when he is required to use this style it will be second nature to him.

Came home to quiet. J is with his dad and Ant and Drea took her brother and Shy out to the pool. I'm going to get to cleaning while I have an empty apartment.

TGIF BITCHEZ!!!!!

I'm very happy it's Friday. But that has more to do with the fact that it's payday more so than I now will have two days off. Although, that is a most definite plus.

This is going to be the shortest post in my blog history because I'm already running late and need to get ready for work. I've got absolutely nothing to do at work as all four of the people that I provide support for are out of the office. Oh, I'll have several phone calls and random clerical shit to do I'm sure, but for the most part I intend on reading and planning my menu for the week as well as what I'll be doing over the weekend.

Mad Men premiere's on Sunday. I've yet to watch the second season so I will be setting the DVR to watch that at a later date. Hopefully I can get Season 2 viewed before the second episode of Season 3. I'm also currently reading three books. Still reading Neuromancer, Last Chance Saloon, and The Portable Writer's Conference. All three totally different. I hope to finish them this weekend as well.

I might take pictures of food today. I'm totally winging it as I don't have a plan. Oh shit, and I have to find my camera.

Two more people died this week in the news. Eunice Kennedy Shriver and Les Paul. I' thinking that 2009 is the year of Death.

Something Fun and Random

I subscribe to a lot of blogs. A lot of them have to do with books and reading. This one, had an idea of the Random Reading Challenge or something like that. Anyway, you position yourself in a section of the library (or bookstore if you have $$ to spend) and have random directions for yourself, like 3rd row, 2nd shelf, 28th book from the left and then you pick that book and read it. Then write a review.

When I go to the library this weekend this is what I am going to do. Sounds like fun. Since my library has all it's fiction together who knows what I'm liable to get.

In other book related news, I really need a bookshelf.

Pseudonyms

I'm going to get all Andy Rooney on you now. Do you wonder why people write under psudonyms and then use their real number with it? I imagine, or hope, that it was because they were originally published under the pseudonym and then became famous with their real name and the original works were re-released with both names attached.

I started thinking about this when I saw a Nora Roberts book, being written under the name of JD Robb. It's a series and not a romantic one, so I assumed that she wanted to, well, she didn't want, um, yea, I can't quite figure it out. So the only thing I'm coming up with is she wrote those first and then the romantic stuff. However, I think I'm wrong about that.

I'm also sure this has been answered in some interview somewhere on the web. I'm just too lazy to google it.

I wanted to stay up tonight and have a Mad Men marathon since the third season starts next week but I'm getting quite drowsy. I'm sure once I pick up my book, I'll be out within minutes. Not that the book I'm reading isn't good, it really is. I just always fall asleep when I'm reading in bed. I suppose I'll have to DVR the first episode since I am relatively sure I won't be finished with Season 2 by then.

In other unrelated matters, I had to turn in the BMW back to my boss. My car is fixed and his family comes back tonight, so he needed the extra car back. *sigh* One of these days I'll have a luxury gas guzzler and I"ll have so much money I won't care how much I'm paying in gas or what it is doing to the environment. I figure if I'm rich enough to not give a shit about that then I'll definitely be philanthropic in other areas! Like only shopping at Whole Foods.

Ah, nothing even good on tv to fall asleep to. Off to read about London yuppies who drink too much and work too hard. Gotta love a good chick lit book.

Just Another Manic Monday

Yesterday morning after getting back from Wal-Mart with Jonathon's laptop we spent a very lazy Sunday morning doing nothing. Jonathon played with his new laptop and was very excited about it.

Shyanne, as you can see, isn't happy not being the center of attention. She also isn't the, "let's laze around and do nothing" type, but I was able to appease her with reading a book or two to her. I think we read an Eric Carle book. He is one of her favorite authors. I love it that my six year old has several favorite authors, that she can name. I love books and reading so much and it seems that the boys only love to read from the computer. Although they will pick up a book a time or two it seems that they just always find other things to do. Shyanne however, wants to be mini me, so there are many times that we are both sitting around with books in our laps.

I made a quick lunch before we headed out. This was some leftover chili that I had, a mix of spring greens and some cucumber. I topped it off with the shredded monteray jack and a couple of spoonfuls of this wonderfully fresh salsa I had left from my farmer's market treck last week.

Even the cat was super lazy this Sunday. I made a stop at Goodwill to drop off some stuff and wanted to go into the Goodwill store only to find that it wasn't there anymore. What the heck happened?? Well, there went one errand, so off I went to the library to drop off some books and pick some more up. Shyanne wound up with a lot more books than I and we rented Marley & Me. Jonathon had read that book and I thought for sure he would want to see the movie but he doesn't. He explained it this way, "when you read a book, you feel what you are reading. And yes it's sad, but it's in your mind. When you watch a movie, you actually see what is happening and so you feel it and see it and that makes it much sadder." Wise words from a 12 year old.

Dinner was easy. Bubble Up Pizza Casserole with some broccoli thrown in. The kids loved it. I used TVP in lieu of the ground beef. And reduced fat biscuits. You can find the recipe on Heather's site.

I ended my Sunday in typical fashion, watching Entourage. It's my Sunday night ritual. That and the Next Food Network Star show. After all day reading Jane Austen, my mind needed a little rest.

Mondays aren't that bad for me, as I have discussed previously. Right now I'm drinking coffee and then I've got to get ready for work. The kids and I have eye Dr. appointments this afternoon and then I get to come home rather than going back to work. I've marked out a pilates routine to do and a stability ball routine to do as my exercise for the day. Let's see if I get it done. I think there's some kind of self-deprecating joke in the offing here, but I'm only one cup of coffee in so I can't quite come up with it. Anything I say will sound lame.

In other completely related news. Weigh in is tomorrow. Just another reason to thoroughly hate Tuesdays.

I've disappeared for a week

I've been out the last week and haven't written but not because there hasn't been stuff to tell, but rather because I've been so busy that I've not wanted to rattle off some half-assed post.

Last weekend was my book splurge weekend. I found lots and lots of book on sale at the various library sales and my used book store.

So, when Shyanne wanted to go to the pool, I grabbed a book and went. Wow, I hadn't realized how it is has been during the day since I'm inside the majority of the day. Being outside really wilted my energy. That sun is so hot. Sunday was errand day.

During the week, I found out that Jonathon has extremely high blood sugar, borderline diabetic and if he doesn't get his eating habits, and therefore his weight, under control, he will be one very soon. My 12 year old son therefore, has a prescription to join weight watchers. The Dr. said it is the most sound plan out there and really teaches the right way to eat. Well, duh, I know this. I figure if my Jon can do this, there really is no excuse for me, right?

Well, except I have now started hiding what I eat. Ok, the oldest busted me the other night. Jon comes home tonight and I'm really going to jump on this with him. I can do anything if it's for my kids.

I've got nothing exciting going on this weekend other than dinner tonight with a friend and our kids. We'll need to pick someplace cheap because I've only got about $95 in my weekend budget and I need to get groceries with that. Fortunately, I only need about $40 worth of stuff so I should be ok.

I'll tell you, I've had to really stick to my budget.

I've also had some really great insight into what I want to do when I grow up and it involves taking a negative event and turning it into positive action on my part. More to come on that.

Dating wise, I have no prospects and have come to a place where I really don't want any. This in and of itself is shocking, but I really don't even go out and about anymore nor do I want to. Not even when I am out doing mundane things do I even think about meeting anyone. I'm at a really good place in my life and I don't want or need anything different.

It isn't all about me

I've come to the conclusion that the things I've gone through in my life aren't and don't necessarily have to be something that I need to learn for my life. Perhaps the things I 've learned and the experiences I've had are to ensure that my children are successful and relatively functional. I haven't always made the best decisions, shocking I know, when it comes to spending time or being maternal. BUT, I always want the best for them and I've come to realize that it's time the gauntlet gets passed.

I will not make the mistakes of my parents and I will play an active, integral role in my children's lives. If that's what my life is about then I'm ok with that. Would I like to have a relationship and someone to share my life with. Sure, but I'm thinking that perhaps that is not supposed to come to fruition until I'm done with the main purpose of my life and that's to get my kids to adulthood and have them be successful. It's gratification that I'm willing to delay.

I had a pastry for breakfast. I know, not the best choice, but it was there. And that with coffee went down smoothly. I'm off to the library sale and then to some used bookstores and consignment stores. Afterwards lunch with my princess and perhaps a stop at Walmart for some toiletries. I'll be sure to take pic's of lunch.

What are some good books you've read lately?

I think I might be addicted to books

The situation with my schooling has me in a very sad and depressed state this morning. I keep trying to look for positives in this. And I do have some options, they just aren’t what I wanted to do long term. I’ll go to Broward College on Monday to figure out my options, but I’m leaning towards completing the Legal Assistant program. It’s not law school, but it’s something.

It’s amazing to me how they can get away with something that is illegal and unethical. And me, the small man on the totem pole has to be David to their Goliath. I feel like Don Quixote at times. Wow, two literary analogies in one paragraph. I must work on that. Perhaps I’m looking at this the wrong way. This enables me to concentrate on what I really want to do and that is write.

My breakfast today was a replay of yesterday minus the eggs and spinach

Well, the good news is our VP of HR is willing to write a letter to Keiser along with my CFO stating that they did indeed prepay my classes. The Dr Evil Incarnate has said that he would be willing to re-consider his decision if they did this.

I had a great lunch. The company more so that the food. Went to Moe’s and I had the vegetarian quesadilla. I DI NOT EAT THE TORTILLA CHIPS!!!!! This was huge, because I started to mindlessly nibble on them as I was talking with my friend and caught myself after like two. Then we went to Border’s because I needed to get Mansfield Park for my Face-Book club. I got that and this:

I paid $20 for the whole lot of them, so how could I resist. Dr. K may have something to say about it, but still. It’s better than eating the tortilla chips. A couple of them are just books that look to be in the genre that I enjoy. One of them is a book about NASCAR and I’ve wanted to read it for quite some time now. The other, The Family Fortune has on the cover, “a radiant re-telling of Jane Austen’s Persuasion. How in the world could I resist that when it only cost me $3. Besides, I cleared out a shopping bag full of books from my shelves. So, I do have the room. I also resisted getting the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I have wanted to read that book for some time now and two people while I was paying was telling me HOW good that book is. Oy. Maybe my used book store will have it. They sell the books for ½ off the list price. If not, I’ll wait until Border’s gets a 40% coupon. Ooh, but I did just find it on Amazon for $8. Free shipping if I spend $25 or more. I shall deliberate over the weekend. Actually, I’ll see if I can find it for cheaper and if so, then I will get it, if not then sold to Amazon. Er, purchased from. Never mind the auctioneer metaphor doesn’t really fit here.

OMG!!! I just looked up the NI for my quesadilla. Thank fricken God I only ate of that. How the hell was that thing 600 calories. Are you fucking kidding me?????

*****PSA ALERT***** Look up the NI BEFORE you order and eat you r lunch.

I’ll be having celery and carrots sticks for dinner thank you very much to Moe the Bastard.

Right after I have this for a snack.

I couldn't resist. This was made by one of my coworkers who makes the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. So I had one.