Let's hear it for long weekends

Thankfully, I get Monday off. It's Saturday morning and as I drink my coffee I'm trying to decide what chores I should get cracking on. I've got to vacuum and do laundry. That, the laundry, will take me forever. But I've got to leave at 1130a to go to my ex-husband's baby's first birthday party. Yes, you read that right. My ex, the father of my sons, has another child with his wife. They invited us, the boys of course, but Shy as well. I'll go as it's at a water park and Shy will have a blast. I'm fortunate that I get along well with my ex so it makes it easy to do these sorts of things.

I finished that book by Francine Prose (ironic), Reading Like a Writer: a Guide for People Who Love Books and For Those Who Want To Write Them. It brought some new perspectives.

I'm going to finish The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo this today and start another book. I've about a million that I want to read, so I don't know which one is next. I keep going back and forth.

And yes, I'm starting again to eat right. It's not something I start and stop. So, let me rephrase that then. I'm going to make better food choices today than I did yesterday.

And the stupid teenagers messed up Shy's puzzle. Argh. There should be a public home where teens go to live so they don't drive us all crazy. They can be released when they are 21.

Third person Thursday

I declared it Third Person Thursday, for fun. It's been a long week. My parents were here, and while I enjoy their company it throws off our routine. Since school just started, our routine was just getting set. And then it isn't. But they are leaving in the morning. They don't like to stay that long because it does get somewhat hectic and chaotic at my grandparents house. Hell, I don't want to be there half the time when I pick up the kids each day and that's only for 15 min. God bless them all, though, they really only mean well.

TGIF!! almost. Work was really quiet. The boss man was out of the office and the boss lady had a lot of meetings today. I barely spoke to anyone. I was able to read my book, well, one of the books I'm reading, "Reading Like a Writer" by Francine Prose. I've enjoyed reading and the excerpts from different books have added about 100 books to my TBR list. Seriously. She also breaks down the different aspects of writing, mostly fiction. From character development, to narration to gesture and dialogue. If you like to read and fancy writing a story or two, this book is for you. She gets you to understand how the various authors used vocabulary, paragraph placement for example, to move the story along. This is definitely one that I'll be re-reading again. I checked it out of the library but this one is definitely a book that I will be adding to my reference pile.

The other book I'm reading I have every intention of finishing this weekend. It's fabulous!!

Now we get to what the point of this blog is supposed to be about. The way I eat now. It isn't pretty. At all. BUT, the good news is that I'm like frickin Annie. Tomorrow, Tomorrow!!! I'll diet, tomorrow!! LOL! Ok, not really a diet, but eat the right way. Eat the way I should. Or I just won't eat at all. But I'll document it no matter what. That's my deal with you. Even if you don't want to know it all.

Oh yea. And the podcast that I said I was going to stop listening to because I wasn't getting anything out of it. Yea, I am still. I've come to realize that I don't want food to be my joy. It's only in mouth for like, what 10 min at the most? I want food to be my fuel, not my friend. This is huge. I've been using food as my joy and I need to substitute that with some real joy. Whether it's cultivating friendships, my children or just my own mind, it's got nothing to do with food. I'll be listening to the podcast again tomorrow morning, as I ride the bike.

I'm off to read my book and go to bed. As my favorite literary heroine would say, "Tomorrow is another day."

I'm not sure this podcast helps

I've been listening to this podcast, Inside Out Weight Loss, and there are some positives that I get from it, but half the time I have to wade through 15 min or so to get the 10 min or just one thought that actually helps.

But, I haven't lost, I haven't done anything to lose. If anything, I've slowly gained some. And yet, every morning I listen to this thing. I guess there are some truths to be found and I do get a point from it. But then I go about my day and forget about it for the most part.

There have been many techniques and internal workings that I have worked on and yet, I must use the food as some sort of coping technique because I keep doing it. How long will I? I obviously know that this isn't going to do anything for me, if anything it's like playing Russian roulette. How long before the health starts to deteriorate? And instead of looking back at all the wasted time, I know I should look forward and embrace today, so I will. I was going to write about how difficult it is, but if I write it then I lend that thought validity. And I don't want to do that as I do believe that what we believe can play a part in our reality.

I really want to set a positive example for my children. They will do what I do, not what I say. I know this.

So, like a child, like a little baby learning how to walk, I stumble. I fall. But I will keep getting back up. Because, just like that baby, eventually, I will be able to take more than a couple of steps at a time. That is what this journey is.

Weekend!!

The week ended just fine. I had a decent day at work, and the she-devil wasn't too bad today. Have I told you about the she-devil? Well, she's going to be our new CFO and can definitely be demanding. To the extent of where I get in trouble for not having foresight for events and duties that aren't within my realm of responsibility. Yesterday was a good day. I didn't have to use my clairvoyant powers.

I went to bed really early last night. My Friday night date with Bill (Maher that is) will have to occur over the weekend I suppose. I know I'm not the only single gal who does this. I've embraced my reclusiveness as you know. But I was so tired, being the first week of school and all, I wound up falling asleep at like 930p or so while I was watching Lewis Black. He is one of my favorites.

My parents are on their way down and will be here this week. I'm going to get chores done around the house this morning before they get here so I can relax guilt free the rest of the weekend. I think my aunt and uncle are going to come down as well.

Food wise, I'm happy to announce that I didn't (because I went to bed) snack last night. I had to have an important conversation with my son, J. He's been doing great and is down 12 pounds. I'm very proud of him. Yesterday he bought his lunch at school, and I told him that he could. He also, as he told me later, bought a small ice cream. And then he proceeded to tell me that he felt "guilty" while he ate it and afterward. WHAT!! NO!! I screamed inside. The last thing in the world I want is for my children to endure the struggles internally with food that I have. My mission has to be for them to be normal. I've always focused on my daughter that I guess I never realized that it could happen to a boy as well.

I told J, that he shouldn't have felt guilty that he needed to realize that we need food to live. And that's it. There are no emotions involved. I asked what else he ate and he ate really healthy the next meal and prior to that meal. I explained that is the way it's normally done. Do not feel guilty, since you didn't do anything wrong.

He said he understood. I really hope so. It just makes me realize that the little eyes are watching me. Reinforces the fact that I need to model my behavior the way I want them to be, not just talk it. I need to walk it. Well, I suppose that is something I knew all along. I'll do this for them.

Sad Day

Sen Teddy Kennedy passed away. He was one of the first politician's that I took notice of as a child. My thoughts are jumbled and I don't have time to sort them out here as I have to get the kids ready for school. Needless to say, it'll be one of those days.

I'm sure I'll have more to say later, when I get settled.

The First Day of School

They were ready for the first day of school.

Of course, my son J, didn't want to take a picture, much less with his glasses so he took them off so I could snap this before we left for school this morning. They both enjoy school so it wasn't too big of a deal for them to have to go back. My eldest, always made a big deal about it. This was the first year that he didn't have to go. His adorable girlfriend did though and he had a picture similar to this one. Adorable.

In other random news, I've discovered that I am not the queen of run on sentences. Long sentences, yes, but run on sentences, no. This is due to my proper usage of punctuation. Contrary to what some people like to think, my grammar isn't all that horrible. Or perhaps it's just getting better. Either way.

I'm off to watch a little West Wing. My date with Josh Lyman awaits.

Sunday night

Ready to go to bed. The kids start school tomorrow. I was falling asleep earlier and now I'm here writing instead of hitting the sheets.

The kids are ready. I've got the lunch packed and they are all set with clothes and supplies. Shy wants to wear her hair straight, so I will get up a little early and let her do this.

My laundry is still on my bed. The folded stuff is put away, but I have to hang up clothes. I'm going to go and do that and then it the sack.