Sunday, June 28, 2009
sunday is funday
Saturday, June 27, 2009
This weight loss blog I listen to
Friday, June 26, 2009
TGIF!!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
These lyrics seem fitting.
And love is not the easy thing The only baggage that you can bring... And love is not the easy thing... The only baggage you can bring Is all that you can't leave behind And if the darkness is to keep us apart And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off And if your glass heart should crack And for a second you turn back Oh no, be strong Walk on, walk on What you got they can't steal it No they can't even feel it Walk on, walk on... Stay safe tonight You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been A place that has to be believed to be seen You could have flown away A singing bird in an open cage Who will only fly, only fly for freedom Walk on, walk on What you've got they can't deny it Can't sell it, or buy it Walk on, walk on Stay safe tonight And I know it aches And your heart it breaks And you can only take so much Walk on, walk on Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home That's where the hurt is I know it aches How your heart it breaks And you can only take so much Walk on, walk on Leave it behind You got to leave it behind All that you fashion All that you make All that you build All that you break All that you measure All that you feel All this you can leave behind All that you reason All that you sense All that you speak All you dress-up All that you scheme... |
I like Rita
“you are at a place you’ve never been before”
This is what my therapist said to me today at the end of our session. And it’s true. I’m at a place and I’ve come to the realization that just because I have some things I’d like to accomplish doesn’t mean I’m terrible, or I’m worthless or any of that. I can accept myself at this place and time and looking this way and be happy with the person that I am. I can try to lose weight and still feel this way as well. The number on the scale doesn’t determine my happiness or who I am. It just shows you what I weigh.
Do I like that number? No. Does it make me depressed? Not anymore.
Does the relationship I have with my pseudo boyfriend determine whether I am worthy of love? Oh hell no. This is something else that I’ve really grown from. In the past, I would have gotten completely emotional and been very co-dependent. Not now. I’m deserving of a committed relationship. If he can’t give that to me, hell he can’t even be bothered to call anymore, whom I kidding, then I can, to quote Bono, walk on.
I’ve come to the realization that I’m not perfect, but I’ve spent so much time stressing about the number, or the guy or exercising etc. that I’ve forgotten to live the life that I was trying to lead. Thanks Christie. It’s time to get off the merry go round and fecking live life. All that time spent, when life is just too short, worrying about this number or that person, or how do I look here and what are they thinking. Who gives a shit. I won’t be that person. It’s hard to not wonder, will I go back. And yea, I probably will have down days, sad days. Everyone experiences those emotions. I’m not talking about being an emotionless zombie. I’m talking about acknowledging those emotions for what they are and NOT allowing them to take control of your life. I don’t let other people do that, so why would I let these emotions do that.
You may be wondering what did I eat today, since that IS supposed to be the subject matter at hand. It doesn’t matter. I did better today than I did yesterday. That’s my plan.
Seriously, I had oatmeal and a banana for breakfast. I had yogurt and fig newtons for lunch. Therapy session was at lunchtime and I didn’t plan very well. And I had shrimp, broccoli and potatoes for dinner. No pictures. Well, because that is just beyond boring. I am making a spinach pie for the week. Except I’m using broccoli and ricotta instead of the cottage cheese. So is it spinach pie? Or crust less broccoli quiche. Yea, I like the sounds of that.
Ladies and Gentlemen, to quote my good friend Mindy, “Happiness is a decision.” I choose to be happy, regardless of my situation.
You should try it.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Father's Day Weekend
Thursday, June 18, 2009
How was humpday
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Obstacles can be blessings, it's all in your perspective
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Tuesday Weigh In
Saturday, June 13, 2009
well, that's an about face
It's to care about Rita
Friday, June 12, 2009
TGIF!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Therapy yesterday
She said I need to get to where I feel more comfortable being healthy than being punished. I am so used to beating myself up that it's comforting. Again, this begs the question, how do I get *there*