But, I haven't lost, I haven't done anything to lose. If anything, I've slowly gained some. And yet, every morning I listen to this thing. I guess there are some truths to be found and I do get a point from it. But then I go about my day and forget about it for the most part.
There have been many techniques and internal workings that I have worked on and yet, I must use the food as some sort of coping technique because I keep doing it. How long will I? I obviously know that this isn't going to do anything for me, if anything it's like playing Russian roulette. How long before the health starts to deteriorate? And instead of looking back at all the wasted time, I know I should look forward and embrace today, so I will. I was going to write about how difficult it is, but if I write it then I lend that thought validity. And I don't want to do that as I do believe that what we believe can play a part in our reality.
I really want to set a positive example for my children. They will do what I do, not what I say. I know this.
So, like a child, like a little baby learning how to walk, I stumble. I fall. But I will keep getting back up. Because, just like that baby, eventually, I will be able to take more than a couple of steps at a time. That is what this journey is.